Thursday 8th of June

It’s been a really tough week this… 2 weeks..  The other week I started doing a gymnastics program for adults and I have been having a blast. It’s every Wednesday night for 1.5 hours and it’s really one of the greatest things I have ever done. I’ve always had a love for gymnastics but I always thought that I was too old to even try and then one day I just though why not? Only thing is that every Thursday I wake up at 5am for work and have some sort of new muscle ache, I like it though, I like being able to feel like I have actually done something, I like being able to do exercise and then feel the burn for a few days after.

Last night I had a session and then again this morning I was up again at 5 and it was the same as last week. Last night we worked on front somersault, I was actually so much fun. There’s something about learning a new move, especially something that involves you landing around your head and neck. I woke up this morning with a killer shoulder pain that started to move into my neck as the day moved on.

I am really lucky that I have a shift of only 4 hours in the morning on Thursday’s but that will be changing in the next 2 or so weeks as they want me to take over another barista’s shifts as she’s leaving. It’s not something that I am looking forward to. I don’t like having to do 9.5 hour day. When a place is best it’s not so bad but this is just going to be dead quiet. I don’t think I’m going to be staying there much longer. I still have my city job so it’s not like I’m going to be missing out on much and I have almost gotten all my bills under control and as soon as I have everything up to date then that’s going to be the last of me working in two jobs.

I have many mixed feelings about my second job, I like it most of the time but sometimes there is something about the owner that really grinds my gears, like the fact that he hovers. I don’t like bosses that hover. I’ve had them in the past and it makes me quiet anxious and stressed, so everything that I makes suffers from it.

It’s one of those things that I don’t know if I can say something to them or anything? I just don’t know. It’s not my business and I haven’t been there long enough to feel like I have any say.

I just don’t know.

On the 6.6.2017 it was a year since my Grandfather died. I’ve been having many feelings about it some happy memories, some sad, sometimes it’s just feelings. Next month will be a year since my Grandmother died. So there’s going to be many, many feelings about that. My new manager doesn’t know about what is going on with me and I don’t know what he thinks.

I’m worried that if I tell him that he will think that I am just making things up and yeah, I just don’t know. I don’t know what I want to do or if I do want to do anything about it. But I do know that I am getting more and more choked up about it the more that I think about it. That is something that I am going to have to deal with.

“I think it’s important to have closure in any relationship that ends – from a romantic relationship to a friendship. You should always have a sense of clarity at the end and know why it began and why it ended. You need that in your life to move cleanly into your next phase.” – Jennifer Aniston

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